Making Amends: 5 Tips for a Thorough Step Eight

Making Amends: 5 Tips for a Thorough Step Eight

Making Amends: 5 Tips for a Thorough Step Eight

As your reach step eight, you'll begin the process of making amends by identifying those you've harmed. Here are some tips to help you.

Keyword(s): making amends

In 2019, before the height of the pandemic, approximately 14.5 million adults had an alcohol abuse disorder in the United States. A sizable percentage of these adults seek help by attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. 

However, many of these people struggle to maintain the 12-step program, significantly step eight.  

Knowing how to conquer this step will help you on your sobriety journey and reconcile relationships you may have ruined. 

Continue reading for five tips on making amends to those you've hurt in the past!

1. Make a List

As a former alcoholic, you've probably had situations you are not proud of. Some of these situations could involve hurting other people and ruining relationships. However, your recovery program focuses on making amends with these people altogether. 

Start by listing the people you know you've hurt in the past. You can then sort the list by prioritizing those you've affected the worst. 

Remember to include each person you think is deserving of an apology, no matter how little you may have hurt them. The harm could have been emotional, physical, or unintended.  

2. Apologize in Person

Once you've made your list, it's time to start apologizing. Apologizing is a small part of making amends that leads to a reconciled relationship. 

Take time to think about your apology and what you want to say. Doing so will allow you to be more sincere and give you time to articulate your feelings. 

Once you've thought about your apology, you'll need to ask each person to meet up. You should always apologize in person so the other person can understand your genuineness. Don't forget always to be accepting of their reaction no matter what. 

3. Be Actionable 

After apologizing, you must hold yourself accountable for your actions. Being actionable to those you've let down is a great way to show you've changed. 

Those who accept your apology deserve you to show up for them in any way possible. Always check in on them to see how they're doing and ask if you can be of service in any way.

Those that rejected your apology may need a little more time to process. However, you can still be of service to them with small acts of kindness. 

4. Consider Their Feelings

The people you've harmed may have various feelings toward you. Each person is different and processes their trauma uniquely. You must be sensitive to their feelings no matter the situation. 

Remember, each of their emotions is valid and deserves your respect. Considering their feelings will help you understand their point of view. Doing so will also keep you from reacting negatively. 

5. Forgive Yourself

Once you've done all you can to conquer step eight, you must forgive yourself. Making amends is mainly for those you've hurt. However, it also helps you heal. 

Take the time to reflect on your growth and how you plan to stay sober. Doing so will give you the confidence to forgive yourself. 

Tips for Making Amends During Step Eight

Making amends will be much easier with the help of each of these tips. Don't forget to start by making a list of those you've hurt and forgive yourself for any shame you may have. 

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