So much of of the ground work of our fellowship is rooted in trust that I would be remiss if I didn't devote at least one (more to come) post about this very fundamental subject.

"The reason you cannot trust is because you yourself are untrustworthy." anonymous

No truer words were spoken to me as I entered the rooms, having lived the life, lied, cheated, stole...etc, I knew that I could not be trusted, I also knew that if you knew about the places I had been you couldn't trust me either.

The thing about trust is tricky though...I will cover it briefly in 3 sections:

1. Why I am untrustworthy and it's effect on listening to you.

2. How I came to trust.

3. What trust is today.

As I began above, I was brought into the fellowship as an untrustworthy person, I lie, I steal, I think everyone else is just like me, or at least I assume that since you are all here you must be just like me. Building on this assumption gives me an out, it allows me to not have to listen, the alcoholic mind is able to rationalize much of anything that is thrown at it, warping it to suit our needs, and this issue of trust is no exception to that rule. In active addiction I learned not to trust, the less I trust the less opportunity for hurt you have.

These are the walls that must crumble before you...

I know now, that I began to trust when God softened my heart enough to begin to hear the truth, however early on the outward signs of trust were small, simple gestures from those around me. An invite into their for dinner, a ride home, an exchange of phone numbers. Soon I would begin sharing small bits of my past in confidence and I would wait for the resulting backlash. You kept my secrets, but you did so much more, you shared yours with me and in doing so showed me trust...We learn to trust when others show us how.

Today Trust has transformed itself into a vast sea. Flowing from God and through others, emanating from children and the elderly, having been lost, attempting to rebuild, sharing with and extending to others...just a few of the many forms of trust that have manifested themselves in my sober life. This much I won't know for sure what trust is until it is gone...

The SPEED of Trust: The One Thing That Changes Everything